My New Dog Didn’t Heal Me
Bringing a new dog or any pet into your home, especially after loss can often be filled with so many mixed emotions. It can be joyful, it can also be stressful, there can be feelings of guilt, worries of how your new pet will fit in and the routine you knew turned upside down.
I’ve been lucky enough to welcome many dogs into my home before and after loss. One thing they all brought was hope and joy, but depending on what was happening in my life at the time, I can’t lie and have to admit some were met with a little bit of anticipation, that feeling of am I just trying to fill a void, will I love them the same. No one can fill the hole that another has left behind - it doesn’t stop that yearning though, and that’s ok!
Grief is hard and who wouldn’t want it taken away if we could. As we know, it doesn’t work like that, but sometimes… just sometimes… could we have a day off from missing them? Could we just feel content knowing we had the best life together we could?
Why do we put ourselves through this? As poet Alfred Lord Tennyson once said “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. Sometimes I question that and in the dark moments I sometimes wish I was one of those extremely weird people who don’t have or want a pet! Apologies if your one of those, but I doubt you are if you are here at Fleur Fauna reading this!
But how are you supposed to feel when you get a new pet after losing another? Happy, excited, joy and full of love? Yep! Absolutely all those things intertwined with guilt, sadness, exhaustion, the memories of your other pet when it first came into your home. That feeling of here we go again, please do not break my heart too quickly, lives in the pit of your stomach.
So does a new pet heal? That’s the big question and all I can say, is I think it gives hope.
I think it gives love somewhere to go. Will they be as special as your last pet? yes, of course, in their own unique and special way.
A new pet is like a new chapter, fresh ink on a fresh page. As the writing flows your life together starts, the new beginnings, the new adventures. Does this change the old book the old chapters? No they are firmly written, but the books that come after are unwritten and new adventures yet to unfold.
My new dog made me get up, show up and keep going. Each new bond has been as special as all the rest, sometimes this took time, sometimes it’s been instantly.
Did my dog heal me?
Well… I’m not up for being healed.
I’m up for new chapters, new beginnings.
Did my dog heal me?
As it turns out, they didn’t need to.
I take so much comfort in holding my old book, no one can re write it, it’s mine, all the good and the sad.
One day this new story will sit heavy on my lap but for now, in this moment, it’s happening and I’m present for it.
My old books fill my lap, heavy, a little torn and the older they get the more precious they become.
I turn my new page, pen to paper,
can you heal me my new friend?
exhale deeply because you do not need to heal me,
you just need to be here.
Natasha,
Slightly human, mostly dog.
Speak again soon,
Fleur Fauna Pet Crematorium
🐾 Individual Pet Cremation serving Llandeilo, Swansea, Neath Port Talbot, Carmarthenshire, Pembrokeshire, Ceridigion, Powys, South Wales, West Wales and beyond.
☎️ 01558 534553
🌐www.fleurfaunapetcrematorium.co.uk
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