Notes on Grief - from a Counsellor
To live a full life, is to live firmly planted in love, but always have one foot in grief.
-me (Shakespeare who?)
We have all heard that grief is the price we pay for love, and if you have loved, as I’m sure you have, you will know this to be true.
Love in the end is paid for in many ways. In having your shadow detached from your body or whilst sat in deep pain and in tears on the kitchen floor.
It is sometimes paid for in anger, or confusion, and eventually pockets of life that feel bittersweet. In laughter from time past and gratitude for the fact you loved them.
Grief can float through us or hit us like a steam train, either way it knocks on our door eventually.
Sadly, not all types of grief are valued the same. Especially when it comes to losing a pet.
As a counsellor, I have realised it might not be valued equally by some of society, but it is all experienced the same.
That’s not to say we all move through loss in the same way. It looks very different for each of us, but that grief is as grief does, and what we are grieving does not discriminate.
I am a practicing counsellor and trained in pet bereavement, while also running our pet crematorium in Llandeilo, and I have been fortunate enough to support lots of people in grief.
It has given me a unique insight on grief (animal, human or loss of any kind) and I wanted to share a few things I’ve noticed in all of those I have met on their very nonlinear journey.
People are unbelievably capable, resilient and good.
We are not the same after loss and finding out who we are after can be hard to navigate. Are we ever the same? How could we be, loss changes us, our structure is gone, our identity changes, our sense of direction and we can even question our purpose.
There is no approved time to grieve. No timeline at all. Grief will sit beside you whether you offer a chair or not. If we allow our emotions to surface and come and go naturally, they process as they need to.
Be patient with yourself. You will take that beach walk again, the air will smell salty and sweet, and you will smile.
Speak again soon,
Natasha,
Slightly human, mostly dog.
Counsellor, pet bereavement counsellor and one of the loving humans being Fleur Fauna Pet Crematorium in South Wales.
Fleur Fauna Pet Crematorium
☎️ 01558 534553
🌐www.fleurfaunapetcrematorium.co.uk
🐾 Individual Pet Cremation in Llandeilo, Carmarthenshire, Pembrokeshire, Ceredigion & South West Wales.
Join our pet bereavement support group on facebook.
